By Jude Abanseka
Some thirty volunteer foster parents have attended a one-day training workshop aimed at preparing them for foster parenthood, with special focus on minors.
Organized by the Martin Luther King Jr Memorial
Foundation aka LUKMEF in partnership with UNICEF, the training in Bamenda took
place Wednesday, December 11, 2019, and grouped trainees from the seven divisions
that make up the North West Region of Cameroon. Taking place within the context
of the ongoing Southern Cameroon crisis, the main objective was to hand over
skills in taking care of unaccompanied and separated children UASC as a result
of the armed conflict.
On hand to facilitate the training was the CEO of LUKMEF, Christian Tanyi who opened the training with a presentation on the core humanitarian principles of humanity, impartiality, independence and neutrality. These principles he noted, provide the fundamental foundations for humanitarian action. The trainer stressed that at all times people should be committed to serving all those in need.
The next module centered on “alternative care”. Here,
the facilitator started off by situating what foster parenting was all about. According
to him, foster parenting simply means opening up to a child who is in need of
parents. He quickly added however that this does not mean adopting the child
because in conflict situations unaccompanied/separated children are taken care
of while a search for the biological parents is going on. Christian Tanyi
stressed that no matter how fond a foster parent becomes of a child they have
no right to withhold the child from the biological parents. This is because
the law does not permit one to keep a minor without legal backing. It
is therefore very illegal to keep a child without authorization, he reiterated.
Noting that to be a foster parent is not wishful thinking, but rather something that starts from the mind, the facilitator gave participants many tips on the subject. Foster parenting is not being a slave master. Such a person should rather have an up the cliff love for children. He added that although one is expected to take care of the child as though it were theirs, they do not own the child.
Christian Tanyi equally cautioned participants against child exploitation. He explained that notwithstanding the amount of love a foster parent may have for children, it would be considered child exploitation for as long as the foster parent uses the foster child for the wellbeing of their own children. Discussions arose on the possible eradication of child exploitation. The facilitator explained that it was a difficult and almost impossible venture. That is why those organizing foster parenting comparatively look for who is better and they deal with the better case. In effect, organizers work with the lesser evil, he added. He further explained that within the context of the crisis, cases of rape of minors have been recorded. It is for this reason that children are not given under the care of a single parent who is underaged, he went on.
The CEO of LUKMEF gave some necessary tips to participants on the steps to take if they wanted to serve as foster parents. In the first place, he advised that they meditate on the decision and ascertain whether they really want to take in somebody. He asked them to examine themselves to find out if their intention was to show off to society that they are good persons or if they are doing it because they are thinking of the benefits that come with it. He then asked them to identify sources of need for the new member of the family in order to build a safety network. Admitting that it was normal to face resistance from the biological children or from spouses or other family members, he asked participants to make sure to take off that resistance before bringing in the new child. The next issue is to identify with other foster parents and join the network, the trainer said. This is in order to orient foster children to the area where the child can get all the care, he added.
Notwithstanding the good intentions, the facilitator was emphatic on the need to continuously strive to get foster children reunited with their biological parents. He noted that no matter the situation, the child is better off in the arms of their biological parents. According to him, the International Red Cross is the most reliable and efficient organ that can facilitate the reunion between children and their biological parents.
Hear him: “Our primary goal is to ensure that these foster children within the context of this crisis are finally reunited with their biological parents”. To that effect, a number of objectives have been set:
On hand to facilitate the training was the CEO of LUKMEF, Christian Tanyi who opened the training with a presentation on the core humanitarian principles of humanity, impartiality, independence and neutrality. These principles he noted, provide the fundamental foundations for humanitarian action. The trainer stressed that at all times people should be committed to serving all those in need.
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| Christian Tanyi |
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| Foster parents at training |
Noting that to be a foster parent is not wishful thinking, but rather something that starts from the mind, the facilitator gave participants many tips on the subject. Foster parenting is not being a slave master. Such a person should rather have an up the cliff love for children. He added that although one is expected to take care of the child as though it were theirs, they do not own the child.
Christian Tanyi equally cautioned participants against child exploitation. He explained that notwithstanding the amount of love a foster parent may have for children, it would be considered child exploitation for as long as the foster parent uses the foster child for the wellbeing of their own children. Discussions arose on the possible eradication of child exploitation. The facilitator explained that it was a difficult and almost impossible venture. That is why those organizing foster parenting comparatively look for who is better and they deal with the better case. In effect, organizers work with the lesser evil, he added. He further explained that within the context of the crisis, cases of rape of minors have been recorded. It is for this reason that children are not given under the care of a single parent who is underaged, he went on.
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| Volunteer Foster Parents and some LUKMEF Staff |
What
to do when about to take in a new house member
Noting that children belong to parents only while they
are in the womb and that from after birth they belong to the state, Christian
Tanyi explained that when one wants to become a foster parent, there is a lot
of information that is asked which the foster parent may really not want to
divulge. He noted that it does not suffice for one to wish to be a foster
parent because it requires a lot of commitment. The facilitator added that a the foster parent must not necessarily be living with the children because foster
parenting also means directing children to necessary services or vice versa. It
is for this reason he stressed that when keeping a child one has to be conscious
of all the humanitarian aids around their environment making sure that they
indicate the presence of the child to the aid agencies so that the child can
benefit from the aid.
The CEO of LUKMEF gave some necessary tips to participants on the steps to take if they wanted to serve as foster parents. In the first place, he advised that they meditate on the decision and ascertain whether they really want to take in somebody. He asked them to examine themselves to find out if their intention was to show off to society that they are good persons or if they are doing it because they are thinking of the benefits that come with it. He then asked them to identify sources of need for the new member of the family in order to build a safety network. Admitting that it was normal to face resistance from the biological children or from spouses or other family members, he asked participants to make sure to take off that resistance before bringing in the new child. The next issue is to identify with other foster parents and join the network, the trainer said. This is in order to orient foster children to the area where the child can get all the care, he added.
Notwithstanding the good intentions, the facilitator was emphatic on the need to continuously strive to get foster children reunited with their biological parents. He noted that no matter the situation, the child is better off in the arms of their biological parents. According to him, the International Red Cross is the most reliable and efficient organ that can facilitate the reunion between children and their biological parents.
Hear him: “Our primary goal is to ensure that these foster children within the context of this crisis are finally reunited with their biological parents”. To that effect, a number of objectives have been set:
1. Monitor
and report all cases of unaccompanied and separated children
2. Provide
temporal shelter and care to all of them when necessary. Such temporal shelter
is valid until the biological parents are located.
3. Relate
with relevant agencies (private/public) to facilitate family tracing and
reunification
4. Support
family reunification; here, in the event where it is found out that the
biological parents are not viable enough to take care of their children, they
would be economically empowered by setting up a petit trade for them and after
a period brings their child/children to be reunited with them.
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